IDC: The State of Being Unbothered

There’s this theory that if you tell yourself something long enough, you start to believe it. I also believe that there is power in what you say. My favorite Bible verse is:

“Life and death is in the power of the tongue.”  Proverbs 18:21

As people, we say things and a lot of the time we don’t pay much attention to the implications or aftermath. Doesn’t matter if you’re a school yard bully or in a powerful position in the government…

I think we can all agree that the words we say can hold power behind them. They have the power to build us up and tear us down.  They have the ability to shift or frame the way we feel and think.  Which brings me to the title of this post. Sometimes, you have to speak things that you want to be true, until they are true. If you say “I don’t care” enough times, you can start to believe it.

Things happen in life, whether you experience a break up, “so and so” didn’t like your post, or you’re just plain afraid of being yourself. When I was growing up, my mother taught me my first important, “idc”. She taught me that if someone didn’t want to be my friend, it was their loss and life goes on, I’ll make more friends. She taught me not to run behind people, and to not seek approval. She taught me to be myself and that being a follower wasn’t cool.

I don’t know when it happens, but down the line, I feel like we lose the, “idc” spirit. I used to proudly prance along as myself, and not give a crap about how I came off. I wasn’t insecure, I wasn’t boastfully loud, or overtly quiet, but I wasn’t shy either. There was really no in between, I simply didn’t care about what people thought of me. Wow! What a concept!

As a kid, a simple ,”I don’t wanna play with you”, could hurt a little. Especially your first day of kindergarten. Now honestly, I can’t pinpoint a moment in memory, but I’m sure it happened. And I’m sure I responded, “I don’t care.” Growing up, later a person says “I don’t like you.” My response, “I don’t care.” I’m grateful that my mom taught me this. Now don’t get me wrong, I care about important things like excelling in school and being kind to others. But she instilled in me the belief, that not caring about fitting in and not following the crowd was pretty darn important. And even if a sliver of me did care, if I told myself I didn’t care, I’d believe it and move on.

Elementary school was a breeze! But I found it harder to do when I got to middle school. The worst years of my life. Your brain is still being morphed, cliques, rumors, crushes! Oh God, the cringy memories are flooding me now! Make it stop! Make it stop!

But these are the crucial years where I embraced the “idc”. It would help me prepare for high school and then college and on. For a minute I lost the “idc” spirit and I began to care a little what the other kids thought of me. I joined a “clique” and the way you knew you were in was by… wait for it, wearing a paper clip on the collar of your uniform… or was it a safety pin? One of those.

Anyway, it was then that I realized that I did care. And when I realized that, it almost scared me. I didn’t want to care about the opinions of another 13 year old girl. I didn’t care about being popular. I didn’t care about any of it. I gave up my paper clip. So my question is why do we search for paper clips in our lives as we grow older? We lose that “idc” attitude and instead we care SO MUCH.

I’m 24 years old and one day I realized, wow when I was a kid, I didn’t care what anyone thought. Sure, there were a lot less responsibilities, and I could afford to be carefree. But when exactly did I forget the little spitfire kid who spoke her mind? If you weren’t God or my immediate family, I truly did not care about your opinion of me.

When I was a kid and I would say, “idc”, 95% of the time I truly didn’t. But as time goes on that percentage dwindles. So whether your posts are getting hated on, that person doesn’t like you, or you’re afraid of being yourself, just say “I don’t care” and wear your nonchalance. You’ll believe it and realize life goes on either way. I don’t care about if a person doesn’t like me, I don’t care what people think about me…

Or am I just telling myself that?

The mind and the power of the tongue is incredible. Sometimes you have to Jedi mind trick yourself. Come on, say it aloud.

I don’t care.

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