Have you ever been caught up in something so much that you neglected yourself? Your needs, peace, comfort, and standards?
Losing yourself typically doesn’t happen overnight. It’s the most gradual and often unnoticeable process (at least to you). If there were flashing lights and warning signs, that told us we were veering from our path it would be easier to course correct. But we usually don’t notice until we wake up one day and realize that we’ve changed and not for the better.
It can be easy to lose ourselves when we give up so much for a person, a job or the pursuit of a thing. And sometimes, you can go with the flow so much, that you end up adrift and far off from where you started or intended to end up.
Before I entered into my last relationship, I had been single for many years. I had gotten pretty used to it and had a pretty strong sense of self. So, I wasn’t worried about losing myself in a relationship. However, that’s exactly what happened. I was so chill and looking through my rose colored glasses that I allowed myself to be diminished over time. I had become small because I prioritized the “success” of the relationship over my own wants and needs. I did not have balance in my life.
For you, it may be a job that takes up all of your time, and doesn’t properly compensate or appreciate you. Perhaps you’ve taken on a new role such as caretaker or new parent. Whether it’s a relationship, taking on a new role, a job, or other circumstances, here are a few signs that you might be losing your self.
You don’t do the things you used to enjoy
Maybe you used to work out regularly, go out with your friends or indulge in the art of baking. But now you can’t remember the last time you did those things because you can’t find the time or you don’t have the energy to do the things you like or things that help you maintain your sanity.
Because of our busy lives, we may not be able to do the things we like as much as we used to. However, it’s important that we find time to make sure we can still have those moments to ourselves that give us joy. If you’re a parent, try to schedule a baby-sitter in advance, so you can have a night out with friends or go catch the new movie in theaters. If you’re in a relationship, it’s okay to take time for yourself. Every minute doesn’t need to be spent with your SO doing all the things he/she likes. Taking care of yourself will contribute to the health of an already healthy relationship. On the flip side, it can highlight issues in an unhealthy relationship-be on the lookout.
You put your dreams on hold
You aren’t currently working on the goals you set for yourself. You had things that you wanted to accomplish but you put them on the back burner or completely lost sight of them as you moved your focus to other parts of your life.
Sometimes dreams change but sometimes they get buried. You owe it to yourself to reconnect with your dreams or to have a new one. Your dreams and goals are a very important part of what makes you, you and often feed your motivation/drive. If you put them on hold, you are closing a part of yourself off, that wants to be free. Take some time to figure out what you really want out of life. You can make a vision board, even invite some friends over for a vision board party.
Your standards have changed
Perhaps the way you presented yourself when leaving your home gave you a sense of pride or not accepting just any kind of treatment from your significant other because you knew your worth. You had standards that you stood by. Now, because of pressure, time constraints or frustration you aren’t living by those standards as much or not at all.
Remember your standards and why you had them in the first place. Re-institute them into your life, even if you have to do so gradually. You may need to kick some things or people to the curb in order to do so.
You feel worn out
You aren’t taking time for yourself and you’re feeling stressed out. Even simple things are anxiety provoking because of your already heightened state of stress.
Feeling drained by life physically and emotionally can really take it’s toll on you. It’s important to de-stress. We all handle and relieve stress in different ways. You can make an appointment with a therapist, go to the spa, go on vacation or have a staycation. Whatever, you do, try to get to the bottom of what is wearing you out and how to make changes to improve your quality of life.
Your friends have mentioned that you’re different
Those closest to you have noticed that you aren’t quite like yourself. They may have even asked you if you’re unhappy or if there is something going on with you.
When the people who know you best begin to ask questions, we can get kind of defensive. However, often they are seeing things a little clearer than us, because they are looking from the outside in. They’ve been there supporting you through life and are concerned that you have lost your way. Take some time to listen to your friends’ concerns, they might help you get back to yourself.
Take care of yourself! Get back to you!
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